Can I come over and play?

Dear Mr. Katz,

Your team is in serious trouble right now, but don’t let that fool you into thinking that all of us (Oilers, and any hockey fans for that matter) would like to be your friend. Whadd’ya say? Can we come over and play on your outdoor rink overlooking the river valley? How about that pool that probably runs year round even though it’s going to be -30 soon? And yeah, if we get drunk I’m sure you can find a spare couch or something for us in a dark back corner of the basement that we can crash on, right?

I’ll be waiting for my invite.

Sincerely,

Mother Pucker